It doesn't have to be all or nothing
It seems the article I posted last week, “how do I choose the best diet”, stirred up some discussion! This is so great! I am so happy that my words struck a chord and that people want to dig a little deeper into this topic.
Here’s just a sample of some of the comments I received:
“I’ve tried every diet, meal plan etc. Nothing has honestly ever worked. I know a lot of people can eat in moderation and are sensible about eating. But I am all or nothing and honestly feel frustrated with myself. I tried the keto diet and felt amazing, but couldn’t stick to it”.
“Diet plans feel so punitive. I feel really bad about myself when I’m on them. But then I try and buy into the whole ‘just have whatever you want and accept your body as it is’, and I can’t do that either”.
“There is no middle ground. I feel like an addict.”
“I”m sick of the quick fix messages; but I don’t know how to do anything else”
“I just need a magic pill; maybe it will kick start something”.
“I’m always at war with food, and food always wins”
Ugh. I feel the heaviness of your struggles, my friends. I hear the pain, guilt, shame, confusion and frustration you are carrying. And I 100% GET IT – These thoughts have been my own in the past, so believe me when I say I get you.
If it’s any consolation, you can see from just these few comments above that you are NOT ALONE in your thinking!
The all or nothing mindset is universal – so much so that a bazillion dollar diet industry has been built upon it!! They rely on the fact that we can’t figure this out on our own and therefore must rely on the program, system, shake, supplement or whatever it is in order to lose the weight, be healthy, and ultimately – like ourselves.
And when we “fail” at said program, it just proves to ourselves even more how much we suck, and how badly we need someone or something to “fix us”.
We have all believed the lie, that “if only I could get my shit together and stick to something, then maybe I’ll finally be happy with myself”. I can guarantee we’ve all bought into at least one challenge, diet or program, hoping to finally reach a place of self acceptance.
But, I’m willing to guess, that even if you’ve been “successful” with a program before, you still weren’t happy with yourself. I know I wasn’t. And that’s why I’m no longer a size 2!
If being thin equated to happiness, then we’d have no trouble sticking to a program.
Take some time for personal reflection. I encourage you to dig deep into these 2 questions
How did you feel about yourself and what you were eating when you were on [whatever program it was]?
Be HONEST with yourself. I’m not asking did you have more energy or lose weight, because I’m sure you did FEEL better physically. But if that were enough, you’d still be doing the program.
How did you feel about YOU??
I’m going to guess, not good. And that’s why you quit.
How do you feel about yourself when you are not following a program?
If you are an all or nothing person, you are probably making poor food choices, not exercising, sleeping well or practicing good self care. So chances are you don’t feel great about yourself in this mode either.
“Well this is just awesome, Kim! So I feel like shit when I’m on a program, and also when I’m not on one… great. WTH do I do now?”
Here’s the thing guys, and trust me I KNOW how hard this is to get and stick to,
because remember – I’ve done it!
There IS a middle ground between ALL IN and FUCK IT ALL!!
It involves committing to loving choices because it’s what you and your body deserve.
Choosing quality, nutritious food most of the time, but also making sure that you ENJOY every single thing you eat.
Moving your body regularly in a way that is fun for you, because it makes you feel better – not to burn off “bad foods”.
Staying hydrated, sleeping well, nurturing your spirit with things that bring you peace and joy.
It’s about recognizing that everything you put into your mouth or do or don’t do for yourself- is a CHOICE. When we are conscious of every single choice, we can truly own them, and can then feel proud of our choices rather than guilty (and it’s ok to be proud of choosing a cookie sometimes!)
This is probably harder to figure out and stick to than any other program you’ve tried because it will force you to look hard at yourself and your feelings and beliefs.
But once you do, my friends, there is FREEDOM! And you will feel amazing about yourself!! No more shame, no more guilt, no more failed attempts, just total self acceptance and ease around food.
I want this for you all SO BAD! It hurts my heart to hear women cutting themselves down, feeling like failures and limiting their potential. I see how amazing you are, and I want you to feel free so you can see it too!